(via xpurpleteardrops)
Theme by
Rose Bmrng // Shayla Huynh
Liam/Faith - Loss
Faith chuckled; she’d seen that picture, with his glasses and naturally brown hair. “I think his glasses were cute,” She smiled, insisting against Liam’s ‘dweeb’ assessment. “Maybe,” She nodded, replying quietly. “But there are lots of perks about how he is now, too. You’d have to ask him.”He scrunched up his face at his mom’s use of the word “cute,” but he nodded. “What makes him and Uncle Angel different? You know…from the other vampires?” Like the crazy women in the cemetery. “Is it you and Uncle Xander? Having people to love?”
Oh, that one was easy, she knew that one, at least. “Regular vampires don’t have souls, but Daddy and Uncle Angel do.” She answered, though she recalled being with Spike before he got his soul and having no qualms about it. But then again, Spike had never really been a regular vampire. “And I’m sure having you, and Uncle Xander, and me are all part of it, too.”
Liam/Faith - Loss
“He’s kind of dead,” She admitted, taking her hand back, thinking how best to answer that. “Y’know ‘cus he doesn’t have to breathe, or have a heart beat. But he’s a vampire.” She finished lamely, aware that that didn’t explain anything really. Well, she really didn’t know jack about the science behind vamps or whatever - Wesley might be better at answering that one. “I dunno, it’s complicated, baby. Jeeves might know that one better than me.”“Ok.” He was kind of glad his dad was dead…that meant there were less ways he could actually die die. “He showed me a picture…from when he was human. He looked like such a dweeb.” But he was grinning…he loved his father, no matter how crazy his hairdo was. “Do you think he misses it? Being alive?”
Faith chuckled; she’d seen that picture, with his glasses and naturally brown hair. “I think his glasses were cute,” She smiled, insisting against Liam’s ‘dweeb’ assessment. “Maybe,” She nodded, replying quietly. “But there are lots of perks about how he is now, too. You’d have to ask him.”
Liam/Faith - Loss
Liam nodded, happy his mom was there. “You’ll always come back, right?” he asked, looking up at her. “When you go out…you’ll come back?”“Pinky swear,” Faith answered without hesitating, holding her pinky in front of him for him to shake with. She had too much to lose to get sloppy on a run and endanger herself, and she didn’t think for a second that there’d be a time that she wouldn’t make it home to him.
Locking his pinkie with hers and shaking on it, he smiled. He knew she couldn’t promise that. Death was weird like that…unpredictable. It liked to hurt people. But for now she was there, and that was more than enough. “Is Daddy dead?” he asked, curious. “Because vampires are dead, right? But he’s not dead dead. How is that different?”
“He’s kind of dead,” She admitted, taking her hand back, thinking how best to answer that. “Y’know ‘cus he doesn’t have to breathe, or have a heart beat. But he’s a vampire.” She finished lamely, aware that that didn’t explain anything really. Well, she really didn’t know jack about the science behind vamps or whatever - Wesley might be better at answering that one. “I dunno, it’s complicated, baby. Jeeves might know that one better than me.”
Liam/Faith - Loss
She really had no frickin’ idea how to go about getting electricity for the camp. But if Liam wanted to do it, she knew she’d hop on one foot through mud if she had to. Kid had that affect on people. And she couldn’t help but smile that he’d requested cupcakes for Tara. “She’ll love them,” Faith assured him, “And I dunno much about getting electricity, but we’ll figure it out, okay? I promise.”Liam nodded, happy his mom was there. “You’ll always come back, right?” he asked, looking up at her. “When you go out…you’ll come back?”
“Pinky swear,” Faith answered without hesitating, holding her pinky in front of him for him to shake with. She had too much to lose to get sloppy on a run and endanger herself, and she didn’t think for a second that there’d be a time that she wouldn’t make it home to him.
Liam/Faith - Loss
She nodded, confirming his question. If anyone could get through those pearly gates, it would be Fred. Her heart broke at his sniffle, and she pulled him into her lap, rocking gently. “Well, what were you two working on? Maybe we could do something, to honor her memory. Do you think we could?”“We were giving everyone electricity. Do you know how to generate electricity? Because I don’t. I turn on a switch, and it’s there.” He wiped his nose. “And I don’t have any other ideas. I made Jeeves get cupcakes for Tara, but that’s all I’ve got.”
She really had no frickin’ idea how to go about getting electricity for the camp. But if Liam wanted to do it, she knew she’d hop on one foot through mud if she had to. Kid had that affect on people. And she couldn’t help but smile that he’d requested cupcakes for Tara. “She’ll love them,” Faith assured him, “And I dunno much about getting electricity, but we’ll figure it out, okay? I promise.”
Liam/Faith - Loss
“Heaven?” he piped up, looking over at his mother. He hoped Aunt Fred was in Heaven. He was pretty sure there weren’t zombies there, and everything he’d ever heard about it talked about nice things. No pain, no heartbreak, no anything. Bad feelings didn’t exist…and the thought of all of her stress and worry being taken away made not having her around easier to deal with. “We were working on something,” he said quietly. “We were gonna make the camp better. But I can’t do it without her.” He sniffled then, fighting back tears. “And I feel like, if I don’t do something we planned, I’m letting her down.”
She nodded, confirming his question. If anyone could get through those pearly gates, it would be Fred. Her heart broke at his sniffle, and she pulled him into her lap, rocking gently. “Well, what were you two working on? Maybe we could do something, to honor her memory. Do you think we could?”
Liam/Faith - Loss
Coming down from seeing Tara, Faith had to let herself out of the house, in order to catch a breath and calm down. She never wanted to go back to how she’d been when Liam had died, and Tara going through exactly what she had so long ago was like a really traumatizing blast to the past. She just needed to breathe a little, and she’d be back to her cocky self.She hadn’t expected to see Liam, though, and smiled, kissing the top of his head as she sat down beside him. “Hey baby, watcha doing?”
“Thinking about stuff,” he replied, turning the notebook over in his hands. “Mommy…why didn’t Aunt Fred come back?” He’d never experienced loss before. The only death he’d ever known’d been his, and it’d literally felt like he’d come right back. He knew that’s not how death normally worked, but he didn’t know why.
The air left Faith’s lungs in a little surprised woosh, as she tilted her head to look at him. She’d known he’d have questions, and maybe wouldn’t understand…everything. Her and Spike had even talked about it, briefly, and agreed to be honest with him. They didn’t live in the kind of world where you could sugar coat that stuff. But, that didn’t make having to actually sit down and explain it all any easier.
Her hand went to smooth his unruly hair, an unconscious habit she had, as she contemplated what to say. “We think she got in a very bad accident,” She said eventually. “But you have to know, that where Aunt Fred is now, is a very good place for her.”
Tara/Faith - Lovesick
“Why eat something that’ll be thrown up three minutes after I swallow it? I’m sorry, Faith. I’m really not up for eating, even if it was a gourmet meal. I can’t stomach anything.” Tara spoke almost inaudibly, afraid if her voice inclined any higher, she would cave again. She rolled over to lie flat on her flat, starring up at the ceiling with watery eyes. “Faith…” The Slayer’s name cracked against the large lump forming in back of Tara’s throat. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t end my life.” Tara’s lower lip quiver as she felt two hot tears leave the corners of her eyes and streak down to the pillowcase. “I need a damn good reason,” she choked out a sob, twisting her neck to look Faith dead in the eye.
“There’s a little black box in my chest that will play back the details of my last moments with Winifred Burkle. To the first kiss we shared, to our last embrace… The right questions will set it off into a frenzy of hurt, flash back to the last moment when I was whole: to the night before, when she held me, kissed me like nothing else in the whole world mattered, and told me we could get through anything… One wrong word and I’m feeling my seams begin to fray and I keep saying it over and over again in my head how I’m going to be okay but I’m not… I’m not going to be okay! I don’t even know how to breathe this way, with my heart collapsed, all draped over my lungs like a deflated balloon, inscribed with the words ‘I love you,’ that was only meant to float for the moment.” Tara inhaled a gulp of air to refresh her lungs before continuing between loud, uneven cries. “I can handle the kisses still fresh on my lips, the smell of her on my pillows and the fresh stains that prove she was here… that she loved me… but I can’t lose the image of her face full of tears, when I told her; ‘I will always find you.’” Tara lost it. What was left of her tattered heart pounded against her rib cage and through her ears.
“My Fred is gone, Faith. My baby is gone forever. Why would anyone want to suffer through this pain? I would rather be dead than feel this constant ache plaguing my chest and her face always in my head that I can never touch again.”
Faith met Tara’s accusingly heartbroken stare, shoving aside the symapthy she felt in order to tell it straight to her dear friend. Because truthfully, that was what Tara needed. Not someone to help her wallow in her grief, but someone to help her march forward through it. “Because it won’t make anything better.” She answered sternly, unbidden flashes of her own attempt making her voice forceful and non budging. “Believe me, I know. The only thing that would change, is we’d lose another soul, and there’d be an empty room upstairs.”
She listened solemnly to Tara speak, glad, at least, that she could bring herself to talk. When Faith had been like that, she’d gone almost completely catatonic. When Tara really began to cry in earnest, she stayed quiet, offering her company and friendship as it was all she really could do. “There’s nothin’ I can say that’s gonna make anything better, Tara. There’s no magic words, no easy fix.” And she wished, for Tara’s sake, that that wasn’t the case. Her hand reached out to stroke Tara’s limp hair, in a soothing, repeated manner. “I’m so sorry.”
Liam/Faith - Loss
Liam sat down on the porch, staring at the notebook Fred’d given him. They’d been making things better around camp…or trying, at least. But before they’d had a chance…she was gone.
He knew his Aunt Tara was hurting, and he’d come up with a plan to help. He’d asked Wesley to get cupcakes from town. Cupcakes made everything better, and he was positive they’d help his godmother be happy again.
Coming down from seeing Tara, Faith had to let herself out of the house, in order to catch a breath and calm down. She never wanted to go back to how she’d been when Liam had died, and Tara going through exactly what she had so long ago was like a really traumatizing blast to the past. She just needed to breathe a little, and she’d be back to her cocky self.
She hadn’t expected to see Liam, though, and smiled, kissing the top of his head as she sat down beside him. “Hey baby, watcha doing?”
